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Workplace Policies (Effective Immediately) 1. Wholesale Nike Shoes .1 Disagreements Minor disagreements shall be settled with small acts of violence: a slap to the face, a stapler to the groin, or a laptop to the knees are just a few examples. Employees may use any workplace object or surface in order to injure other employees. Remember: violence encourages others to better understand your way of thinking, and fosters respect in future disagreements. Those who attempt to settle minor disagreements with reason and dialogue shall be in violation of The Code. Major disagreements shall be settled by dropping the gloves and chucking knuckles. The last employee standing shall be considered in the right, though both employees shall be sent home for the duration of that workday. Third parties in disagreements are strictly forbidden, and any third party combatants shall be sent home without pay for the duration of the workweek, though will be considered to have grit and admirable character. Third party incidents shall be ignored if the number of those in the disagreement grows to include the division or team its entirety. Those not participating in a full-division disagreement shall be in violation of The Code and will be considered to be absent of grit and admirable character. 1.2 Benefits and Compensation Benefits and compensation shall henceforth be awarded without reason or rationale. Lower level employees will inexplicably, at times, be better compensated than executives or long-serving employees. Those in the Toronto offices shall be compensated at a rate double of that in regional offices. Performance shall have little to do with compensation. Unquantifiable intangibles will be cited as reasons for inflated remuneration. Those who have outstanding fourth quarters shall be rewarded for that quarter in ignorance of all previous quarters. Those who carry the bulk of the workload and adhere to The Code shall be rewarded in empty platitudes, but not monetarily, though will be considered to have grit and admirable character. 1.3 Responsibility Failure and underperformance by teams and divisions shall fall upon the team leaders and divisional executives. If teams or divisions fail to meet expectations, the team leader or divisional executive shall be summarily dismissed. Teams and divisions will publicly praise their dismissed leaders, and will promise to continue to support the organization with efforts of no less than 110%. 1.4 Discrimination and Harassment We expect and demand a respectful and professional work environment. Discrimination shall not be accepted under any circumstances, with the following exceptions: If it involves Europeans. If it involves French Canadians. If it involves non-Canadians. If its really funny. Harassment shall be tolerated only under the following circumstances: If it involves interns. If it involves first-year employees. If it involves guys who had it coming. If its really funny. For circumstances that do not fall into the above categories, please refer to The Code. 1.5 Statement on the Bearing of Firearms Carrying of firearms is strictly prohibited. This is not the NFL. 1.6 Health & Safety All workplace-related injuries and illnesses shall be kept private, and referred to only as upper- and lower-body ailments. Employees who are absent while suffering from workplace-related injuries and illnesses shall be considered to be lacking grit and admirable character. Should an employee be absent due to non-workplace health issues (hangovers, STDs, pregnant in an adulterous affair), their ailment shall be referred to as the flu or food poisoning. Information concerning hangovers, STDs, and pregnancies from adulterous affairs shall be kept within the organization, under the purview of The Code, and because they are indicative of grit and admirable character. For safety purposes, suits and protective headwear shall be worn at all times on the premises, and removed only in instances of disagreements (see 1.1) or celebration. Athletic supporters are not mandatory, but, cmon. 1.7 Nepotism Nepotism shall be rewarded and encouraged. Family members of previously successful employees shall be determined to possess equal or superior skills to the aforementioned. Automatic respect will be garnered. 1.8 Alcohol & Drugs Use of alcohol and drugs on work premises are strictly forbidden, except during celebrations or getting ready for a big day. Alcohol and drug use on employees personal time shall be discouraged, though ignored if said employees are productive or adhere to The Code or have grit and admirable character. 1.9 Media Relations After each workday, all employees shall be required to address the media. Team leaders and divisional executives shall issue brief statements, followed by terse and adversarial responses to the medias questions. The media shall, at all times, be considered ill-informed and intrusive. Employees will be permitted to answer questions with only the following five responses: We gave a 100% and put in a full day. Its all about the team. I refer you to The Code. Were taking it one day at a time. Only time will tell. Any media member who challenges the policies or activities of the organization will be questioned for not having previously worked in our industry, and dismissed for a lack of understanding of The Code or the merits of those who have grit and admirable character. 2.0 Treatment of Co-Workers All co-workers shall refer to each other by their first name or surname with a –y added to the end (Smith=Smithy or Smitty, Dave=Davey) or by a nickname that is equally affectionate and insulting. Adolescent, insulting, and vile language is henceforth the norm. Employees are encouraged to insult co-workers by calling each other by names that are not gender appropriate, referring to having intercourse with each others mothers and/or partners, and to question both the size and effectiveness of employees manhood. Such language is noted to adhere to The Code, and those who excel at its employment are seen to have grit and admirable character. 2.1 Transferability Henceforth, all employee contracts are transferable. Without notice or warning, any employee may be transferred to another organization. Reasoning for the transfer must include: Spite. Mismanagement. An attempt to shake things up. Disagreement over compensation. Perceived disrespect. Employees request. Failure to adhere to The Code. Lack of grit and/or admirable character. Alternately, employees may now be demoted to subsidiary organizations with lesser facilities in lesser locations, though these subsidiaries are known to foster grit and admirable character. 2.2 Repercussions Minor violation of any of these policies, or any act that violates The Code, will result in a half-day banishment to a secured cubicle that has been built in each divisions workspace. While in the secured cubicle, penalized employees will feel shame. Major violations shall require suspensions at the purview of management, though the length of any suspension shall not be related to any other. At the discretion of management, minor and major violations may be ignored if they are deemed to fall under the discretion of The Code. In such instances, the offending party shall be labeled as having grit and admirable character. Conclusion Each of these policies may change without notice or rationale at the discretion of management, and every 4-8 years the workplace shall be shutdown for 8 months to reevaluate all policies to the great frustration of our valued customers. All employees are forthwith encouraged to adhere to The Code and develop grit and admirable character, or they should go work for a European organization. Interested parties may opt to enroll in the organizations monthly character building workshops on the Sutter Family farm in Viking, Alberta. Cheap Nike Shoes For Sale .com) - Colorado forward P. Cheap Nike Shoes Free Shipping . Diego Costa headed in Gabis corner seven minutes from time to secure victory ahead of the return match in Madrid on March 11. "We know that at Madrid it will be another game, which will also be important and very difficult," Milan coach Clarence Seedorf said. https://www.wholesalenikeshoesauthentic.com/ .S. Olympic hockey management team have been making what he called "ghost rosters" since August.TORONTO -- Throughout his football career Swayze Waters never thought much about the significance of a jersey number. He was issued No. 94 as a freshman at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, then various other numbers by the five pro teams he auditioned for, including the No. 30 he has worn since 2012 as a punter/kicker with the Toronto Argonauts. His latest number will mean much more. Waters will don No. 34 this season in honour of his best friend, Tait Hendrix. Hendrix, 27, died recently in a motorcycle accident. Waters, also 27, took three days away from Torontos training camp to be family and friends as they paid their final respects to Hendrix. Upon returning to the Argos, Waters decided to wear Hendrixs No. 34 and dedicate the season to his memory. "For me, Ive never had a reason to put significance in a number until now," Waters said following Mondays practice. "That was Taits number . . . hes the guy I grew up playing any kind of sport you could think of with. "Its just my way of honouring him, the life he lived, all the things he taught me and the times we had." At the request of the Hendrix family, Waters spoke at the funeral. Waters also wrote about Hendrix on his website (www.swayzewaters.com). "First off, I just communicated to everyone there I was suffering with them," Waters said. "Then I talked about some of the good memories I had, not specifically stories of me and Tait personally but just the kind of guy he was, his smile, his laugh, his character. "He was just one of those guys you couldnt be around and not have a good time and not smile. He had this work ethic and mindset to get better every day . . . so I left everyone with that challenge: No matter what you do, get better at everything you do every day, keep alive that little piece of Tait thats in all of us. Thats how we can honour him as we go forward without him. It will never be the same, its going to be way different but as we move forward be the best we can every day." Trouble was, No. 34 in Toronto belonged to rookie defensive back Eric Black. However, its the number the Argos issued Black and it held no signiificance to him so when approached by Waters, Black willingly gave it up. Discount Nike Shoes. Waters said hell forever be indebted to the Argos and his teammates for their support. "It was anything but a vacation," Waters said. "But Im very thankful to the Argonauts for allowing me that opportunity to go home and be a part of that and just be with the family. "I know in this business not a lot of teams wouldve done that but its family around here and I really appreciate what everyone did for me." Waters said the three days he spent at home were invaluable to him. "It was huge," he said. "I think that was the biggest thing I could do, just be there. "There was a lot of laughing and a lot of crying. I got home and hugged my wife. We cried it out then went over to his house. Not a lot of words needed to be said. For me, that was a big part of it. Weve got to go on and things are going to be different but this is just one thing I wanted to do to honour my best friend." Waters said Hendrixs death is a sobering reminder of just how precious life is. "When you go through something like this it just puts everything in perspective," he said. "Youre reminded how short life is and that football is just a game." Its a perspective the Argos third-year kicker plans to lean on heavily this season. "Dont get me wrong I love football, its my job and Im always going to work as hard as I can to be the best I can to help my team," Waters said. "But football is not life. "Theres already enough pressure in professional sports. Youre playing in front of one million people on TV and 30,000 to 40,000 people in the stands. Youve got your job, your house payments, all that kind of stuff on the line. Theres no need to add any more pressure and this is one of those things that reminds me this is just a game. "Im going to go out there and do the best I can and the rest will take care of itself. Im just going to mainly take the kind of guy Tait was, work hard and get better at everything every day, into the season. Every day I put No. 34 on will remind me of that." ' ' '